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I Love Monsanto

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A satirical counter argument to last week’s post: Monsanto: A Beginner’s Guide to the World’s Most Dangerous Corporation

The problem with Monsanto is that there are too many things to love. The more I read, the more I ponder, the more I discover. Monsanto lovers sometimes get a bad rap because when a crowd of us get together and all shout out what we love at the same time, it just sounds incoherent because we are screaming different things—because there is too much to love!

Let’s start at the beginning. Monsanto has been around since 1901 and have had their hands in a number of successful adventures. They do whatever it takes to turn a profit—and that’s something to cheer about.

More recently the company has become synonymous with Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs). Basically scientists have genetically modified plant life to make it resistant to all-purpose poisons and produce higher yields. Some people hate science and just don’t understand that GMOs are perfectly safe. Nutritional values have been proven to be roughly equal between GMO and non-GMO food. I’m pretty sure that’s where the debate ends. Haters will try to say that mass application of pesticides and herbicides have adverse environmental consequences. Some will even bring up human health effects. But that’s all rubbish. It’s pretty clear that nutritional content is the key to it all, everything else is just noise. Score one more for Monsanto.

I love science and all, but the absolute best part of all these new GMOs is that they allow for more food to be grown. As a humanitarian, I’m heart-broken when I hear about starving babies in those places I’ve never been. The solution is obvious: more food. Monsanto haters don’t want this. Basically they want babies to starve. I haven’t looked into this one too much, but if people are starving it must mean that not enough food is being grown. That’s just science.

Anyone who doesn’t like Monsanto is either anti-success, anti-science, or hates babies.

All joking aside, Monsanto and GMOs are important issues. Don’t listen to me, or to anonymous Internet comments, or company propaganda or anyone else. There is a mountain of information out there just waiting for you. 

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2 comments on “I Love Monsanto

  • your argument is fair at the same time i disagree when you include or use the argument of starving babies in those places you’ve never been i am sorry that statement is just ridiculous does MONSANTO have a campaign for feeding the starving babies at all? do you know that companies like Monsanto have food plants stocked with billions of grains and never put it in the market in order to keep the prices of food high? more production does not and will never guaranty those starving babies are being feed just so you know i come from Brazil where that happens all the time and not only there here in the us too it is sad but it is the true

  • lol you’re a hoot! A real DoOsie.

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